How Many Five Year Olds...

I was listening to Kevin & Bean on KROQ this morning, and they mentioned a site called "How Many Five Year Olds Could You Take In A Fight?" This is so wrong on so many levels, but funny nonetheless. The segment then degenerated into Psycho Mike and Ralph yelling at each other due to Psycho Mike's claim that he could take down 50 kids easy.

Me? Well...

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Soul Calibur IV: "Play This One, You Shall"

I played Soul Calibur II when it went on the bargain bin--hey, who wouldn't like a game which featured the first Pinoy heroine (Talim) in a video game, for crying out loud!

I didn't play the next one, but I did like watching the trailer. Thus, when I saw the trailer for Soul Calibur IV, I was prepared for more Taki and Ivy goodness, but at 1:02 of the trailer...

I did not see that one coming.



(Click here for the 720pHD version. Requires DivX player, though)

At the Movies, 2008: Cloverfield

This movie made me sick.

Literally. It's all based on the "handheld-camera" idea, much like Blair Witch. So, what is this movie about? You've probably already seen the trailer with the head of the Statue of Liberty landing on the street. You've heard everything from Cthulhu to Voltron (huh, that would've been cool).

It's not Cthulhu or Voltron, I can tell you that. It is along the vein of Godzilla (in terms of giant monster attacks port city), although it's not our favorite Tokyo monster import. Yes, it's a monster movie, but without the usual cliches, like using a Mac to inject a virus into aliens. Well, okay, ONE cliche, the one about the attractive twentysomethings in DANGER. And you do have to check your disbelief at the door (that's a pretty indestructible camera, don't you think?). Oh, and Pepsi, Sephora and Nokia must've paid a pretty penny for product placement.

Despite those small flaws the movie on the whole is pretty darn good. It's tightly written, much like any JJ Abrams presentation, grabbing you and not letting go until the end. The monster is cool, and the different shots of the military attacking it are awesome. I wish, though, that the DAMN CAMERA WILL STAND STILL FOR MORE THAN TEN SECONDS. Because it nearly made me throw up.

Go and see it if you're not prone to motion sickness. I thought I wasn't (I never get seasick, even when fishing in a bangka for papacol in Cavite with huge waves around us), but this one made me contemplate running to the bathroom.

Sequel? Probably. Maybe they'll find the five lions and we'll get Voltron after all! I just hope it's not this handheld camera bit again.

Where Are They Now: Calvin and Hobbes

I finally got the Complete Calvin & Hobbes set for Christmas. It's still sitting on the table, unopened; I'm almost afraid to open it--yes, I'm one of those people who are obssessed with reading a book without breaking the spine.

Anyway, found this comic strip through the Dope: http://www.uclick.com/client/sea/lio/2008/01/20/index.html

I bet Watterson's not amused...

Nothing But Air

Today was teh Steve's Keynote at MacWorld 2008. While I'm not really a fan of Apple, I'm always curious about what the Next Big Thing is. This time around it was the MacBook Air.




Jobs calls it "the thinnest notebook ever", tapering down to .16 inches. 13.3" screen, aluminum, with a multi-touch trackpad. Fits in a manila envelope (pet peeve: stop spelling it manilla, bloggers! Geez.) as you can see in the ad. People should be lining up to get it, except...

1. It starts out at $1,800, which gives you an 80GB, 4200rpm PATA drive. S-L-O-W. You can opt for the 64GB SSD drive, but be prepared to pay $3,100.
2. It has no optical drive. No watching DVDs on this one! Installing stuff? Well, you can "borrow" the optical drive of another computer. Unfortunately...
3. It has no ethernet port. So you're stuck with wireless, which can be slow (unless you get an ethernet dongle and attach it to a USB port, except...).
4. It has only one USB port. So a USB hub is a must (along with a Bluetooth mouse).
5. The 2GB memory is non-upgradeable. Yup, you're stuck at 2GB.
6. The battery is non-removeable. Battery dies and you're nowhere near a power outlet? Tough.

In effect, this is pretty much the "Missing Link" between an iPod and a MacBook. Okay, I'm reaching with that one.

Despite its limitations, I'm sure people will buy it; some have called it "executive jewelry". I'll reserve judgment until I can drive down to the nearest Apple store and play with it. I'm pretty sure I won't buy it, though; I'd rather spend the money on a new TV.

Details from engadget, wired and apple.com

Happy Smurfday!

Happy 50th birthday, Papa Smurf!  You too, Smurfette.  Oh, and you, Brainy.  Can't forget you, Vanity--you look mah-velous with that flower, dahling.  Jokey, Grumpy, Greedy, Dreamy, Clumsy, Hefty,  Handy, Baby...all of you (even Gargamel and Azrael).  Happy Birthday! 

Still alive and kicking after all these years, and not wussified like the Care Bears (if only Benjor could get around to publishing the Care Bear Massacre, I'll be happy).  Heck, I even saw some Smurf figurines when I was at Universal Citywalk last year. 

Now, how 'bout them Snorks?
                                                                                                                                       

At The Movies, 2008

It's not even February yet, and we've already watched a lot of movies, both in theaters and on DVD. A lot of it is due to the writers' strike, meaning nothing on TV.

Resident Evil: Extinction. Curiously, we watched this 11pm on New Year's Eve, stopped briefly to wish everyone a Happy New Year, and then finished it 2008. Pretty much paint-by-numbers, but it was good enough, I suppose. Milla Jovovich is pretty attractive, as usual, and looks better as she seems to have gained weight. Ali Larter pretty much plays Niki, a supposed tough gal who weeps a lot.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets. The first one was better, as it had more puzzle-solving and a longer tour of American History. Still, though, this one's not bad, and is a nice way to spend two hours at the movies. I always enjoy Nicolas Cage's acting, even if it is a bit hammy sometimes.

Shoot 'Em Up. Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti go for the paycheck. It's fun, true, but it's stupid fun. Although Clive Owen gets to play BMW Driver again. Monica Bellucci is always a plus, although she's getting a bit long in the tooth.

The Simpsons Movie. Funny, funny movie, although the middle part (the one where they go to Alaska) is quite strange, as everyone starts acting out-of-character (especially Homer). Other than that, this was a hilarious movie. Best (throwaway) line belongs to Ralph Wiggum: "I like men now!"

Rush Hour 3. Always nice to see Paris again, but this could've been a TNT original movie and I wouldn't have to waste a rental on it.

authoroftheweek: Brandon Sanderson

Upon hearing that Brandon Sanderson had been chosen to complete Robert Jordan's epic Wheel of Time series, I immediately went to the library to check out his work. Sanderson had released three novels: Elantris, a standalone, and the first two books in the Mistborn series: Final Empire and Well of Ascension

I tackled the Mistborn books first. I'm glad I did. Final Empire was extremely well-written, with a realized world, a unique magic system and fleshed-out characters. It tells the story of a group of people trying to take down a tyrant. Several of them are Allomancers, people who have the ability to "burn" a certain metal that enhances a certain ability. For example, "Thugs" have the ability to "burn" pewter in order to enhance their strength. Then there are the special people, Mistborn, who have the ability to "burn" all metals; in effect, they have all the different Allomancer powers. The main protagonists are Mistborn; unfortunately, the empire they aim to destroy also have their powers (Steel Inquisitors), while the tyrant is the most powerful one of all. Exciting book with a somewhat steampunk feel. A must read, even if you didn't know about the Wheel of Time stuff. This one's five stars, easily.

After eagerly finishing the first book, I went on to the second one Well of Ascension. We get to see the world fleshed out even further, with the introduction of more creatures and some more insight on how the world came to be. Unfortunately, the book suffers a bit from sequel-itis, and gets a bit bogged down in political discussions and philosophical debates. It's still a good yarn, however, and the last couple of chapters are pretty exciting, with one of the best fight sequences I've ever read. This one rates four stars.

Elantris was the last book I read, and was the first book that Sanderson wrote. It shows. The book reads a bit like a sixties/seventies SF novel (down to the cover), with the Elantrians coming across a bit as refugees from the Age of Aquarius, complete with disco balls and shiny robes and go-go boots (sorry, that was the imagery that came into my head). Yes, it's a bit cheesy. An okay read, but it's obvious that Sanderson was still trying to find his voice with this book. Three stars.

If I had only read Elantris, I would be nervous. Fortunately, the quality of Sanderson's work took a quantum leap with the Mistborn books, so I'd say the last book in the Wheel of Time cycle is in good hands.

Some People...

You know how when a register opens up, they call the next person over to be the first person in that new line? Well, I was the person behind that next person, and I had moved over to the new register when this woman runs up with her cart and says "EXCUSE ME".

The heck? She thinks she's next in line? Despite the fact that I was already there behind the first person? Talk about cutting in line!

I didn't argue the point, and went back to my old line, muttering Gordon Ramsay's favorite words and mouthing off about female dogs. Yes, it was loud enough for her to hear. May karma bite you in the ass, I thought.

Turns out it did. I actually got checked out faster than if I had moved to that new line, and was out the door before the person in front of her was even done! I actually whistled quite loudly as I was strolling away with my cart, knowing full well she could hear my whistling and could see the smirk on my face; heck, I should've shouted "Victory is Mine!", Stewie style.

The nerve of some people.