New hobby: Chuckling over Apple Fanboys

I don't own a Mac. I've flirted with getting a Mac (an iMac G5) this January, when I was looking to get a desktop to be my video editing workstation. I even visited the Apple store in Costa Mesa several times, and was all but ready to make the switch.

However, my wife needed a PC in case she ever needed to VPN to work. So, boom, case closed, got a new P4 instead. And so far the machine's worked like a dream. No viruses, no adware, nothing. Virtually no maintenance either--just Zone Alarm and AVG at their basic settings. But dang, the iLife suite sure was tempting.

Then I started reading some Apple fansites like www.applematters.com. Hoo-boy, those fanboys make my head explode. I'm amused and a bit creeped out by these folks who defend everything Steve Jobs does.

Case in point: the one-button mouse. Never knew this was such a hot topic. I've used multi-button mice all my life, and Microsoft mice are, in my opinion, the best. But these guys? Here's a couple I've seen from various sites (applematters, mdn, slashdot):

"A one-button mouse is more ergonomically sound than a two button mouse, because you you can avoid repetitive stress syndrome with your fingers. Heck, you can use your palm to do the clicking." (maybe, but my hand hurt after ten minutes playing with the iMac G5. can't beat the shape of the Intellimouse and its brethren, IMHO)

"People with disabilities can use the one-button mouse with their feet" (huh?)

"Apple has done a lot of usability studies and focus groups and have determined that the one-button mouse is the best" (somebody replied that Microsoft and Logitech probably have their own studies and focus groups as well. this is true. of course these companies will only publish comments flattering to them. what, apple is going to say "our mice suck, get another mouse immediately upon buying one"?)

"Your average person gets confused by the right button" (might've been true waaaay back, but now? oh, i forgot--Apple "focus groups" say they get confused)

"Why do you need the right button? Just use the keyboard" (wait, i thought things should be simpler...)

"The one-button mouse forces developers to keep things simple" (i've got nothin')

Now, there are some saner heads out there who make the valid point that it's all about choice--pick one you like. If the one-button works for you, fine. If not, buy something else. OSX does plug-and-play (or whatever it's called in Apple world).

But the 1% who come up with these kind of comments? Comedy gold. Wonder what their spin would be if/when Jobs decides to get rid of the one-button mouse and bundle a multi-button mouse instead. I think a lot of them are whimpering right now with Apple switching to Intel chips after trumpeting that PPC beats the crap out of Pentium chips--either that, or trying to come up with the latest excuse/revisionist history.

Hey, I might still get a Mac Mini one day (and my friend might disown me forever), since I'm curious about OS X. I won't become a full-fledged "switcher", but I might take a dip and see. I'll have to make sure I take my anti-RDF pills too.

And to those people who'll ignore my last paragraph and say "well, you've never used a Mac, so you can't comment on it!"? Yeah, go ahead and drive away folks curious about the Mac and OSX. Morons.

Not that anyone else reads this blog anyway, other than my friend who's a Linux geek. And if I ever use a Mac, he'll stop reading it too. =)